To Asturias

To Asturias:

I have failed in my aspirations to be above average. No, actually, that’s not really true. I’m doing well but it seems always sometimes like people around me are doing better than me, achieving more. However, I know that many of these people aren’t happy and also feel like they’re underachievers.

            Maybe we’re all selfish and have failed in our attempts to be like God – perfect and immaculate. This, of course, is impossible. But we all want to feel important. That’s the most fundamental feeling of human existence.

            In the same sense, to be stuck with limitations that are unexpected, undesirable, and inconvenient is also part of being human. If it’s like they say, that no one ever said it was going to be easy, I’m pretty goddamn sure that no one ever said it had to make sense either. I’m pretty sure of that, if nothing else.

Calle Goyescas, Fuente Berrocal

Valladolid, Valladolid, España

5:29, 11/11/11

There Are Many Battlefields

There are many battlefields
And I have been to war,

but I know that peace is better.

I have seen hard stares,

but I know that smiles are brighter.

I have felt real fear,

and I know courage is harder.

I have tried to be like others,

but I know that me is better.

I rule my den.

Because I’m a crawling king snake, and I rule my den.

John Lee Hooker spoke those words into a microphone so many years ago. And John Lee did not worry much about whether his guitar was perfectly in tune nor whether the recording sounded perfect. He did not care much about his grammar or the pitch of his voice; he just wanted to sing the things that were in his heart. And sometimes you just need to tell the world that you rule your den and not be bothered with whether that conforms to anyone else’s needs, or whether it sits right with you yourself even! Sometimes it’s more important to just let out what’s inside, regardless of imposed constraints.

It’s always important to just be here in the moment, to just be here now. An old man said to me today, “I remember when I was young, son. I was always thinking about where I should be and not where I was.” I don’t know if he meant to be that profound, but I took what he said to heart. I am always thinking about where I need to be and not where I am. But in reality, the only thing that’s real is right here, right here with me. You and me.